after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
