Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
