it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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