wakey wakey hands off snakey
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
