YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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