before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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