And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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