i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
