She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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