I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
