Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize