If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
