where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
