just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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