the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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