She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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