it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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