super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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