the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
