I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
