Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
