ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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