the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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