No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize