my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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