Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
