is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
