Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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