yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
