ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
