Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize