pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize