thus making me awesome and them whores
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
