good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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