Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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