Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
