Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
