you traded sex for a burrito?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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