Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
