I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
