I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
they're like a gay fantastic four
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
