so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
