People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
