it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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