so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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