Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize