I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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