Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
