dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
