i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
