i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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