i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
