tell your sister to shave her snatch
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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