yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
It's like God shit irony all over that family
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
