somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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