Dual....:-)
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
