capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
