I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
